Social media outcry: mother's baby shower for her 12-year-old sparks debate
A recent viral clip on South African TikTok has brought the issue of teenage pregnancy into the spotlight once again. In this case, a mother threw a baby shower for her 12-year-old daughter, sparking widespread debate.
The mother, who remained anonymous in a radio interview with Jacinta Ngobese on Vuma FM, claimed that while she did not condone the pregnancy, she decided to celebrate it.
She explained: "I know it was a mistake for a child of 12 years to fall pregnant but it's happened already and there's nothing I can do to change that now instead I saw it fit at the time to celebrate what's to come and go on with life and life is happening."
She added: “With that being said I'm not saying I condone this behaviour but I love my daughter and my granddaughter that's on the way. I'm happy about being a grandmother very much."
@jacinta_mangobesezuma This interview left me heartbroken 😔 #SAMA28 #southafricatiktok🇿🇦 #jacintangobeseinterview #vumafm #radiointerview #content #radioqueen ♬ original sound - Jacinta MaNgobese Zuma
This situation has prompted many to reconsider the complexities of teenage pregnancy in South Africa, especially when cultural factors intersect with legal and ethical concerns.
Teenage pregnancy in South Africa
South Africa has one of the highest teenage pregnancy rates in the world. According to the Department of Basic Education, over 90,000 schoolgirls fell pregnant in 2021, with 1,100 of these pregnancies involving girls between the ages of 10 and 14.
These alarming figures highlight the need for urgent intervention and public discussion around the causes and consequences of teenage pregnancy in the country.
While incidents involving 12-year-old girls are rare, teenage pregnancies among older adolescents are more common, with many of these cases linked to socio-economic factors, lack of education, and, in some instances, statutory rape.
According to research published by Statistics South Africa, many of these pregnancies are unplanned and often result in girls dropping out of school. The cycle of poverty is perpetuated as these young mothers struggle to complete their education and secure employment.
One of the main issues raised by the viral baby shower incident is the tension between cultural practices and legal frameworks.
The mother in the TikTok clip mentioned that the father of her daughter's child, a 24-year-old man, had approached the family to "pay damages" and negotiate lobola (bride price), a traditional practice in some South African communities.
While this may be seen as a cultural norm, it clashes directly with South African law, which considers any sexual activity with a minor under the age of 16 to be statutory rape, even if it is consensual.
The mother's decision to celebrate the pregnancy, rather than seek justice for her daughter, reflects a broader societal issue.
In some communities, teenage pregnancies are normalised, and older men dating younger girls is not uncommon. However, in this case netizens are calling out the mother.
@celiwe wrote: “Akuboshwe wonke umuntu kulayomuzi“ (everyone in that family must get arrested)
@Rev Ndumo Ngcobo added: “ I love you Jacinta for standing up for a girl child and teaching the nation. Your non-judgemental yet firm conviction is what we need to fight GBV.”
Another user @Busisiwe Mthethwa16 wrote: ”She's not protecting her daughter 😭😭😭.”
Education is one of the most critical factors in preventing teenage pregnancy. According to the United Nations Population Fund (UNFPA), girls who receive proper sexual education and are encouraged to stay in school are far less likely to become pregnant.
The 12-year-old girl's mother mentioned that she is still doing well in school despite being pregnant. However, other kids are judging her.
Research has shown that many young mothers struggle to balance the demands of parenthood and education. Without adequate support, both academically and emotionally, these girls are at risk of dropping out of school, which can severely limit their future opportunities.
The legal perspective
One of the most concerning aspects of this story is the fact that the father of the child is 24 years old.
By allowing the man to negotiate lobola and "take responsibility" for the child, the girl's family is effectively condoning a relationship that is both legally and morally problematic.
Ngobese, the radio host, rightfully pointed out that the 12-year-old girl is not in a position to understand the full implications of a sexual relationship, let alone one with a man twice her age.
The fact that the family is considering marrying their daughter to the man who fathered her child reflects a troubling acceptance of child marriage, which is illegal in South Africa.
Support and counselling
At the end of the radio interview, the mother agreed to seek counselling for both herself and her daughter.
Counselling can help young mothers cope with the emotional and social challenges they face, while also providing them with tools to make informed decisions about their future.
The viral TikTok clip has sparked an important conversation about teenage pregnancy in South Africa, but it also reveals deeper societal issues that need to be addressed.
While the mother of the 12-year-old girl may have had good intentions in celebrating her daughter's pregnancy, the situation raises serious concerns about the protection of minors, the role of education, and the responsibility of families and communities to uphold the law.
With the mother and cultural norms on one side, you have the law and what is socially acceptable on the other that clearly stipulates that it's rape.