Sharon Gordon is the brains behind the Lola Montez Brand leads the adult entertainment Industry and has revolutionized the way business is done. From conceptualization, to brand exposure and product development. Lola Montez is currently a upmarket boutique in Sandton, Johannesburg with services including events, parties, education and e-commerce.
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WE’VE all heard about the five languages of love, and I hope by now you’ve worked it out and told your partner. Mine is definitely service and my partner’s is touch, but did you know there are five sex languages?
You will probably prefer one or the other and chances are it will change as quickly as the weather. It may help to give them names or numbers which can be communicated so you can both be on the same page. There is nothing worse than being out of sync with your partner.
The five sex languages are:
Fun
Desire
Pleasure
Patience
Acceptance
In the early days sex was always spontaneous and fun. It reminds me of a Miley Sirus song with the line that goes something like ‘you say I used to be wild, but I used to be young’. My life has got more complicated and along with it my changing desire levels and when and how sex remains on the agenda. At this stage I might add abstinence to the list, but how would that look for someone who writes about sex and relationships?
Back to the languages. If you’re a Fun language person, it’s all about being spontaneous and creative. Most of us have had sex on a beach, the park, the back of a car or a public change room.What makes it more fun is the chance of being caught. This is usually a quicky. The back seat of a car gets mighty uncomfortable after a while.I’d love to still have fun sex, I’m just not sure my body will cooperate. These days I’m all about comfort not speed.
Desire is very sexy. Everyone wants to be desired, but this one is all about timing. There is nothing worse than being snowed under with a task, chores or a headache and your partner stalking you like prey.
Desire is about being chased. Knowing your partner desires you and has put a lot of thought into when, where and how your next encounter will play out.
It’s the build up and anticipation that makes for desire to be your sex language of choice.For the next sex language, you need time. It’s all about pleasure.
It’s all about exploring and being explored. What works and what doesn’t. I always suggest starting with a body map. You can download it off the lolamontez.co.za website under resources.
The idea is that you both mark up the map for yourself and your partner indicating your best touch spots in order. For your partner you mark where you think they like being touched and in what order. You’ll be surprised at the result.
This allows you both to get curious about your partner’s favourite positions and acts. It’s so much easier to please them when you know the way with all this sexy knowledge.
For the next sex language, the technique is in the name: Patience.
The Patient lover takes their time. You will love slow, gentle sex that lasts for hours. Me – I just can’t. There is too much to do, people to kill, mountains to move!
I don’t think I have ever been a patient lover, but I hope you are. I can imagine that it is very rewarding.
Acceptance and celebration. I think this one comes with age. It means you love being valued for exactly who you are.
First YOU need to know who that is and accept yourself otherwise you will never believe that your partner accepts you, warts and all.
It is never just about your appearance. Everyone wants to feel seen and celebrated as a whole person. This is the sex language that can really rock your world.
For years I hid behind clothes because I was never thin enough, firm enough or beautiful enough. Insecurities developed during my teenage years. Now I walk around the house naked. (not when the children are home!), and I feel completely liberated.
If my partner doesn’t like or appreciate the flabby saggy bits, sorry for him. I love them. They are all mine and while I’m not mad about paper-thin skin, I do my best.
I’d like to talk about the abstinence thing. There will be times and that’s okay. Take the time but don’t stop forever. Sex remains good for you regardless of your age. This menopause thing is a bitch and I’m doing everything I can to understand it so I can share it with you.
Watch out for some articles on it coming up in the near future.
I’d love to know which sex language you prefer and do follow me on all the social media platforms.
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