The neck is an incredibly interesting part of the body. Picture: Becca Talpert/ Unsplash
Regular readers will know that I often talk about prime real estate when it comes to foreplay. What I’m referring to is the areas on the body that are associated with sex and pleasure. They are the go-to areas, these include genitals and nipples.
And yet, the body is so much more than genitals and nipples. You’ve heard it said that the most powerful sex organ is the mind. A very close second is the skin and yet we ignore them both. I blame porn.
Every porn movie I’ve ever seen gives attention only to prime real estate. If you want to up your foreplay skills and become a better lover, here are 9 erogenous zones that aren’t genitals.
The neck is an incredibly interesting part of the body. Think about when it gets touched by someone else. It is either in passion or anger (never a good thing).
Neck: The neck is very sensitive and can be stimulated by kissing, licking and a bit of nibbling, not biting, we’re not a snack. Try running your fingers down the neck, especially the back of the neck running into the spine. Apply pressure with fingers or lips to create a sensual sensation. Try whispering into the neck and watch the goosebumps appear.
Lips: Kissing is obviously the best way to stimulate lips and there are so many ways to kiss. It’s time to experiment. Try sucking, nibbling and gentle biting. If you draw blood, you’ve gone too far! Your tongue is an incredibly strong muscle, tone down what it says and use it for good. Explore with it, followed closely by your lips.
Ears: Ears are sensitive to heat, cold, vibration and touch. The earlobes, in particular, are sensitive to stimulation. You can blow, nibble and suck. Whisper. Do not blow directly into the ear or make that loud smacking sound over the ear. It is uncomfortable, may cause harm and will definitely put an end to your play.
Making sexy sounds is another way to stimulate the ears and heighten arousal.
Inner thighs: The inner thighs are incredibly sensitive. It doesn’t take much to stimulate them. A gentle caress, light nibling, kissing, tracing a word with your finger or tongue, all the while avoiding prime real estate, will have your partner gasping.
Try some temperature play, ice, heat and breath. All goodies.
Feet: I have to say this is where you lose me. I would rather not have sex than to have to touch someone’s feet, and they are definitely not touching mine. But for those of you who like feet they are a commonly overlooked erogenous zone.
Massaging and kissing feet, toes and ankles can be arousing. You can try sucking their toes (I am cringing as I write this) or (more cringe) use your tongue to trace patterns on their sole.
Lower Back: now we’re talking. The lower back is a sensitive area that can be stimulated with light touch, kissing and massage. Include fingertips with a gentle scratch or tickle. Think stroking a cat.
Back of the knees: another extremely sensitive area. Make sure your partner isn’t extremely ticklish because touching them may not work. Gentle touching. Trailing fingers, tongue or toy down the back of the knee and watch the melt. A little scratch may not be out of order.
Butt Cheeks: This is coming dangerously close to prime real estate, but it can be used to great effect as a foreplay tease. This area has a high concentration of nerve endings. It can be stimulated in a number of different ways to great effect.
You can go the gentle route. Massage, touch kiss, nibble. It is more effective with a massage oil. Or you can go in harder, it depends on the play and your partner. Definitely get consent for this one. Spanking, slapping or light biting. After care is important when spanking and slapping. The blood comes to the surface and the areas become extremely sensitive.
You can touch with fingers, tongue or fluffers (a soft mitt) – Stroking. Shew. You can also run your tongue where the butt cheeks meet. It is incredibly pleasurable because one never gets touched there.
Fingers: We often overlook our most used digits. The fingertips are sensitive. Sucking and nibbling the tip or sucking the whole finger, palm of the hand and wrist will definitely get the juices flowing.
While some of these parts get close to prime real estate they can be avoided. My pole dancing teacher used to say that you can be sexy without ever touching where your mother taught you not to touch in public. You can build an entire vocabulary for your relationship out of these erogenous zones. Image being at a cocktail party and touching the nape of your partner’s neck. They will know exactly what you’re thinking.
Happy playing.
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