Authors who participated in the Status of the Heart dialogue at the Bessie Head Library on Valentine’s Day are, from left, Sanele Kubheka, Phumelele Mathonsi, Mxolisi Nxumalo, Nompumelelo Nxumalo, Dr Nonkululeko Madondo and Andile Dlephu. | SUPPLIED
Durban — Pietermaritzburgers were treated to a Valentine’s Day with a difference at the Bessie Head Library where local authors gathered for a discussion on a range of issues, mainly those affecting young people and couples.
The Status of the Heart gathering had authors covering themes varying from communication, financial literacy to dealing with gender-based violence. It provided a platform for authors and the audience to exchange thoughts and opinions.
The audience, mostly young women, was told about the importance of setting financial goals, because this had been identified as one of the reasons for disagreements which sometimes lead to couples splitting.
Sanele Kubheka, author of Farmboy Income Statement, told of how experiences of people, especially couples living beyond their means, had inspired him to research and eventually publish his book.
His book provides the basics of financial literacy, including drawing up a budget, saving and investing where possible. Kubheka emphasised the importance of finances in the relationship, noting how they determined the success or failure of many unions.
“When you meet someone you seek to establish a long-term relationship with, how they act when it comes to money tends to influence the direction of the relationship and at around that time it is easy to determine if that relationship is a liability or gain,” he said.
He stressed the importance of setting realistic goals based on family finances because this would ensure stability and also help avoid tensions found in many relationships. He acknowledged that a combination of unemployment and low incomes was putting pressure on many relationships, and this was exacerbated by practices such as lobola in African cultures.
Another participant, Dr Nonkululeko Madondo, author of the book The King in You, appealed to the young women who formed the majority of the audience to play their part in ensuring that relationships remained stable and progressive and to be brave enough to accept when relationships were not working.
She argued that in some instances women were guilty of using children born during relationships that had failed as pawns to settle scores with their former partners.
“We must always be mindful that when such things are done, children may get scarred for life and in some instances start a cycle of gender-based violence. As women, let us introspect as to what role we are playing in ensuring that relationships are working,” said the author.
Many authors emphasised the importance of communication and for people to love themselves and to be honest about themselves, and avoid selling wrong impressions of themselves to others.
Organiser Nelly Shozana expressed satisfaction at the attendance and the level of participation, pointing out that she had sought to create space for discussions among mainly young people on issues that mattered to them.
She said the event had enabled the audience to ask important questions and imparted crucial lessons to all parties in the process.
The event was sponsored by the Msunduzi Municipality, the South African National Biodiversity Institute and the Department of Correctional Services.
Independent on Saturday