Lukewarm soap opera

PLATFORM 9 (2) – PARK STATION. Directed by Christo Davids, with Theodore Jantjies and Maurice Paige. At The Baxter Studio Theatre until January 16. RAFIEK MAMMON reviews.

COMEDY is indeed a strange, personal thing. It is much like music: get it right, and you have your audiences in the palm of your hand, with people walking the planet reciting your memorable lines. Get it wrong, and well, people seem not to forget that too.

The second incarnation of Platform 9 is definitely not as impactful as the first. It lacks cohesion and believability.

This is often the case when second and third renditions of anything hit the commercial floors – look at Police Academy and the horrendous Sylvester Stallone Rocky films.

If film-makers only made the first ones, they would all have been living legends – even the now botoxed, facially reconstructed Stallone. Instead they made about six or eight a piece, and now all they are good for is to annoy everyone as they are screened over an over as re-runs on DStv.

Just days before seeing Platform 9 (2) a friend reminded me that comedy is a serious business. And I cannot agree more. Scripts are not meant to look for funny around every corner.

They are meant to have a natural flow of humour that does not feel forced or, heaven forbid have actors utter profanities in order to have an audience cracking up.

It is carefully considered, but its ultimate test is its natural transition from page to stage. It speaks volumes to the quality (or lack thereof) of the script and even of the audience!

The plot: we meet the two protagonists, who are angry as hell at each other (to establish some form of conflict from the get go). They are travelling by train from Cape Town to Johannesburg in search of their “dreams”.

The one wants to be a rapper and the other a contestant on MasterChef. En route they meet a few characters all played by Maurice Paige and Theodore Jantjies.

They banter, swear and curse a bit, then banter some more with the narrative never really lifting beyond soap opera level, until they reach their destination.

Much like a modern male, Cape Flats version of Thelma & Louise, deciding to stick together against all odds… all in Afrikaans.

Here we have two soap opera actors, Paige and Jantjies – both of whom are decent thespians – trying their damndest to make people laugh with a script that is almost wholly grounded in stereotypic coloured, mostly rural characters. And that demonstrates a general paucity in multiplicity and could easily at times be construed as offensive even – the obligatory effeminate character and a pregnant Cape coloured female who is going in search of the Somalian who impregnated her.

A seemingly difficult task, as we are constantly reminded “that they all look the same”.

There are very funny moments, but one cannot help wondering: does the audience laugh because what the actors say is really funny, or are they laughing because these two soap stars, that they revere on television every day and are dying to take selfies with after the show? And the second the actors say anything vaguely irreverent, the audience packs up laughing.

On the one hand, this is the kind of theatre that brings non-regular theatregoers to the theatre like moths to flames, and we should be thankful for that. On the other hand, theatre-makers should always be mindful that theatre should still maintain its standards. And by standards I am not suggesting a western notion of what it means; merely a professionalism, a quality check.

And at the very least, theatre- makers should ask themselves: what does their production add to the theatrical landscape?

The line between dumbing theatre down for those who do not go often enough, and offering them an evening of thought-provoking entertainment is wafer thin.

Here we have a trio of powerful beings – if you add the respected Christo Davids (of 7de Laan fame), who is the director of this production – that could have used this platform (no pun intended) to bring laughter and merriment coupled with some form of edification.

Characters bleeding into one another, poor character introductions and inconsistent accents should not be the order of the day – just because it is meant for a primarily Cape coloured audience.

The affair is tepid at the very least, with Jantjies by far the better performer with distinct lines between, and believability of, his characters.

We all love to be entertained – especially this time of year. And we all certainly have stories to tell. But we also know, from our dinner table and campfire experiences, not everyone is able tell a story.

Similarly, there are many stories, with different looks and feels, representing a multitude of cultures in this country that need to be told on our stages.

But that must never preclude the importance of how we spin our yarns.

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