The golden years - a time when things are supposed to be good after a lifetime of hard work.
Well things are changing and now, for some retirees who cannot afford places in a retirement village or estate, or who haven’t got a paid-off home - the only option is to move in with family, usually with their adult children and young grandchildren.
Other reasons to make the move include: elderly parents requiring specific health care, social or cultural expectations for parents to live with their adult children, or financial situations.
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How such a move will affect family members, and the challenges it will bring, depends on a number of factors and it can be difficult or it may come naturally.
If your parents move in this is how you can make it easier. Remember there are also many pros to having an elderly person share in your children’s lives.
Communicate
This is essential especially explaining the move to grandchildren and what it will mean to their lives. It is also important to communicate with the grandparent, the move will also not be an easy one for them.
Who does what?
Household routines will be affected so these must be carefully considered as roles and responsibilities can often become issues in co-habitating families.
Upfront decide on who will take charge of what things in the house. This will help avoid conflict - if the rules are very clear and it is easy to see when someone is overstepping them. However, in all homes it is important to compromise as well, so long as it doesn’t cause major resentment. If discussions are had upfront, everyone will know what to expect.
Nature and nurture
If an adult daughter and her mother never got along before living together, chances are this will not change and problematic relationships will be amplified.
Also remember when a grandparent lives with grandchildren they may start to take over the parenting role causing confusion and friction.
To ensure the children are given the best possible chance, the roles have to be clearly defined so children are not confused.
The issue must be handled respectfully between the adults and there must be consistency when dealing with children.
Involving the grandparent
Involving grandparents in certain decisions is important to help them feel integrated into the family.
Added to that things such as decoration of their space and keeping some of their own furniture could be ways of transitioning a parent into their new environment in your home.
Time apart and time together
Taking time as a family without the elderly parent is important. It is also important to allow the elderly parent time without the family. It is a difficult transition for all, have patience.
Making homes safe for the elderly
Making the decision to have an elderly parent or parents move in may be a logical choice for many families, but making the family home safe for them is often not taken into consideration.
Not only may families have to prepare for changes to routines within the home, and living arrangements to factor in the arrival of an elderly person, but they also need to remember that physical changes to the home may need to be made.
“It is unfortunately extremely expensive to get elderly relatives into old age homes or retirement villages, so arranging in-home care may be a better option,” says Handy Helpers Home Care Solutions.
This could be at elderly people’s own homes or within the homes of their family. The benefits are that the elderly person is happier surrounded by what they are familiar with.
Lighting within and outside homes is one of many considerations and night lights that go on automatically outside the home are necessary as are night lamps on bedside tables, preferably ones you touch to put on and off.
You can also:
* tape down the ends of rugs, or get rid of rugs that are slippery.
* create obstacle-free paths within the home, such as from the bedroom to bathroom.
* fix broken paving bricks on outside pathways and paint anti-slip coatings on flooring in the kitchen and bathroom.
* in bathrooms install grab bars, get non-slip mats, make toilet seats higher so it is easier to get up, and install shower seats.
* buy medical alert devices for the elderly to wear, and have these linked to efficient medical response companies.
* family members should know how to react during medical emergencies and be trained in first aid and CPR to assist until an ambulance arrives.
* Find a multi-generational home here