The dangers of ‘sharenting’, parents who share too much on social media

The activities of parent influencers have led to the increasing normalisation of sharenting behaviours. Picture: Pexels

The activities of parent influencers have led to the increasing normalisation of sharenting behaviours. Picture: Pexels

Published Aug 25, 2024

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What does sharenting look like in practice? Millions of parents worldwide now share their children’s information online.

By the age of five, many children will have had 1,500 photos of them shared online, including their children's personal information, such as names, birthdates, and photographs.

Research shows it is mothers who post more information about their children on social media.

In an era where it is common to share photographs of a baby while it is still in the womb and “mumfluencers” represent an R200 billion industry, with some parents creating commercial enterprises through the sharing of family lives and product endorsement.

The activities of these parent influencers have led to the increasing normalisation of sharenting behaviours.

Dean McCoubrey from Digital Parenting Club, an online platform that offers parents advice on digital parenting insights, news, app settings, tips and how to teach children about the online dangers, says:

“The challenge with sharenting is that parents need to fully understand the long-term implications of their child’s digital footprint.

“Many parents, coming from a different generation, might feel savvy about the internet, but they often remain detached from the pop culture and online norms that define how their kids wish to be seen”.

Sharenting or conscious parenting?

Unlike the diary entries, photo albums and home videos of the past, blog posts, Instagram photos and YouTube videos live on platforms owned by big corporations and can be made visible to far more people than most parents realize or expect.

Parents may unwittingly be helping predators by not having the correct privacy controls in place, making it easy for paedophiles to find the content and pass it on.

Many parents make their profiles private or limit who can view information about their children, however, just because you’ve restricted access to friends and family, it doesn’t mean they won’t pass on the information without your permission.

McCoubrey says; “While it’s true that parents have the right to publish what they like, it’s crucial to reflect on whether this is the best idea for their child’s safety.

“By sharing images and information about their children online, parents are essentially placing a digital tattoo on the internet—one that might be difficult to remove or control later.

“I feel we are increasingly having to be more human centric in our use of tech.”

Online predators and spear phishing

Digital expert Dr Colin Thakur, based at the Durban University of Technology, warns that spear phishing is a targeted attack in which criminals mine the internet for any information they can find on an individual, such as their birthdays, friends, hobbies and names of loved ones.

Spear phishers harvest personal information and build up a profile that would make them “acceptable” to the victim because they knew what kind of person you were likely to befriend.

If the person or child is targeted they may feel embarrassed that they can’t remember them, and keep on talking to them.

In South Africa, Media Monitoring Africa (MMA) has a platform called Real411 where anybody can report online content which they thought could be categorised as mis/disinformation, harassment online, incitement to violence or hate speech.

MMA head of programmes Thandi Smith says: “The issue is about increasing digital literacy initiatives and online safety campaigns.

“Parents need to be far more aware of the risks of sharing information about children online, as well as being aware of issues of consent when it comes to sharing photos and videos online.”

Teenagers reactions to their parents sharing their lives on social media

As well as the scope for embarrassment, there is also the potential for damage to relationships between parents and their children with teenagers becoming resentful to their parents.

When Gwyneth Paltrow posted an Instagram selfie on a ski lift with her 14-year-old daughter, Apple, a public tiff ensued.

“Mom we have discussed this. You may not post anything without my consent,” Apple wrote.

The child of an Instagram influencer wrote an anonymous Reddit post vocalising concerns about the images posted by their mother.

“It sucks because there’s so much out there about us and it’s what’s gonna come up when I’m looking for a job, when I’m dating, when anyone looks up my name,” wrote the user.

Wearing hoodies printed with slogans such as.

“I do not consent to be photographed and No profiting off my image”.

“I know it’s really weird looking but it feels like my only option,” the user concluded.

Parents need to be mindful when talking about their kids online and more aware that social media platforms are owned by companies who want access to every corner of our lives.

Ultimately parents need to recognise that the internet is incredibly complex, and need to employ better critical thinking in their online actions, especially when they involve children.

IOL Lifestyle